The Last Chapter: The Suicide

"As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul."

- Hermes Trismegistus

Oslo, December 25, 2018

Yo! Whassup ma-fuckers?

Nay, I can’t really pull off some kooky slang and hold you spellbound by virtuoso writing at the very moment of my impending demise. All I could’ve done was to offer you an unaltered, uncompromising raw story of the madness within and the mayhem it had caused without.

Beauty will save the world,” wrote Dostoevsky so listen to the master and come closer, lean over, take a glance at how beautiful it is. Feel how perfect, how mighty it is. I am, of course, talking about a 9mm luger, Speer Gold Dot bonded core bullet I’m. [ Read more... ]

The Last Chapter: The Suicide (2)

"As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul."

- Hermes Trismegistus

Oslo, December 25, 2018

Abelard and Héloïse

As fate would have it, at the very time on the verge of a pitch-black sorrow, as I lived desolate and destitute in Tijuana, I encountered love. It was the most unexpected moment. Our love was, or so I thought, conceived rather immaculately in The Glance, the first glimpse I exchanged with Charlotte. It was a glance of deep understanding, as we’ve seen each other in a manner God never wanted us to see another human being—a naked soul, glorious in all its fears, magnificent in all its beauty, impalpable and everywhere at the same time.

I suspect physicists played hide-and-seek with us mortals when they called the unknown substance that permeates our universe, those mysterious 85%, a dark matter. Just because you can’t see it, does not mean it’s dark, geniuses. I dare to dream that some sort of universal love is that elusive dark matter.. [ Read more... ]

The Last Chapter: The Suicide (3)

"As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul."

- Hermes Trismegistus

Lamia

Some might claim that I’m a coward for killing myself instead of facing “justice,” that mythical fairy-tale near everyone sanctimoniously babbles about all the time, so I feel compelled to briefly comment on such a thought. What “justice” exists within confines of those barking mad societies all over the world? Societies, as much as the countries and the humanity as a whole, have been ruled by degenerate psychopaths since forever. The world has been mercilessly caught in the war-mongering clutches of sickos whose evil deeds dwarf my own crimes by multitudes of millions.

I’m not trying to exonerate myself from my heinous crimes just because the human habitat is a fucked up sadistic nightmare. I would gladly allow the families of the women I killed in a maddening rage to stone me to death should they desire to do so or to dismember my body by wrenching my limbs. My hatred would’ve finally met its match—the hatred of the families who had been deprived of their daughters and sisters—a match made for hell and would’ve finally liberated me from myself. [ Read more... ]

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